Hustler's Untrue Hollywood Stories: Lindsay LohanFavorites [+]
You can now enjoy this movie on your iPhone®, iPad®, or compatible Smart TV & Android devices.
Sometimes a porn star is a dead ringer for a celebrity and XXX studios just can't resist spoofing that mainstream star with a movie starring their naughty doppelganger. That doesn't always work well, but Hustler is a studio with a great sense of humor and they're behind most of the latest smash hits in the parody category, so you know "Untrue Hollywood Stories: Lindsay Lohan" has the potential to be good.
Have you looked at photos of Hollywood train wreck Lindsay Lohan and adult starlet Scarlett Fay side by side? They could be sisters, and Scarlett is believable as a Lindsay substitute for our purposes here. Put sunglasses on her and you have a hard time telling the difference. LiLo used to be pretty hot before she turned into such a disaster, so it's a good thing we have Scarlett around to pick up where she left off. Scarlett's red tresses and waiflike body make her a natural choice, and her comic timing is good enough to pull off what she's asked to do. As the movie begins like an episode of a tabloid TV show, "Lindsay" has far more than a little nip slip on the red carpet as paparazzi snap away and she obliviously answers questions and takes drags on her cigarette, giving the world a show. The real LiLo had a naturally big rack before she got so skinny, but our porn version here has quite a nice pair all the same.
Lindsay infamously tried to recreate the iconic Marilyn Monroe photo shoot with Bert Stern (her last before her untimely death). Here we see Lindsay doing the shoot and telling photographer Ralph Long she wants to be just like Marilyn. Well, not the dead-at-36 part, but the legendary-sex-goddess part. The trouble is that Lindsay has to ask Ralph what made Marilyn sexy. If she doesn't understand it, then she can't recreate it. Ralph sees his opportunity with a needy starlet and talks Lindsay into bed with a line about how Marilyn seduced her photographer. "Many a truth is spoken in jest," as the saying goes, and this scene manages to point out something true about Lindsay Lohan: the one thing she seems to have in common with Marilyn is her need to be loved. As she sucks his cock and more, Lindsay can't seem to stop asking Ralph if she's doing it like Marilyn did it. "Do you think Marilyn deep-throated?" she asks, and he assures her she did it all the time. He even claims to know that Marilyn's favorite position was side saddle, which he says he read in a book. When Ralph slides into her pussy in that same position, we see by the trimmed bush that Scarlett's a natural redhead just like Lindsay. Their fuck is energetic and at times like a jackhammer, until he pops a huge load on her face, prompting her to announce to the camera, "Lindsay looooves the taste of your cum."
Lindsay isn't the only young celebrity babe represented here. Nicole Ray, one of today's most gorgeous girls in porn, plays "Scarlett" (Johansson, we presume), whom a spiteful Lindsay pushes into a pool upon learning they'll be working in a movie together. Looking at the bright side, Nicole's wearing a white shirt that clings wonderfully to her tits, but then she goes inside with Chris Charming to change out of those wet clothes and fuck their annoyance away. Even though Nicole has only one scene, she looks great, performs brilliantly, has a sexy voice, and could easily steal the whole film away from its star. Scarlett is hot, but Nicole is a formidable rival. No wonder "Lindsay" was jealous enough to shove her into the pool.
After a short outdoor masturbation scene while LiLo's in rehab (and sneaking alcohol anyway), we get a flashback scene of her mom, played by Sadie Swede, seducing Lindsay's man Rocco Reed while she was in rehab the first time. Mom has a habit of fucking LiLo's boyfriends while she's in rehab to drive them away, as some kind of bizarre protective action. Before the scene begins, we see from Sadie's one-boob-out appearance during her interview that the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Those who are into cougars and MILFs should enjoy this scene, as well as anybody who likes a mature, busty blonde with a freaky side – Sadie is the newest to porn out of the whole cast, but she's an enthusiastic newbie who gets down and dirty with a rimjob among other things.
Next we get to see the repercussions when Paris (Eden Adams) thinks that her on-again/off-again boyfriend Stavros (Jay Lassiter) fucked Lindsay. Eden as Paris is pretty hot and gives a good blowjob, but what everybody is really curious about is seeing Lindsay in some girl-on-girl action.
It finally happens at the end, when we see a flashback of Lindsay's first time with Sam (Dylan Ryan, looking a lot like the behatted butch DJ). Dylan is a veteran of lesbian flicks, more than a couple of them kinky. She's probably the most natural actor in the cast and is the dominant partner in this scene. Lindsay might be more conventionally hot than Sam, but Sam is the one who really knows how to play with the girls. She eats Lindsay out, getting her warmed up for some fingering and a pretty blue dildo with a little flower inside the handle. Lindsay returns the favor with some licking and fingering. It's a scene that was worth the wait and feels surprisingly tender and loving, which could be a shocker of an ending if there ever was one.
But then there's the real twist ending, which we won't spoil. Let's just say it involves Lindsay's new relationship after she gets out of rehab, and you'll be amazed when you see who it is.