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Everybody Loves Lucy

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Running Time:   117 minutes
Studio Name:   Hustler 
Director:   Jerome Tanner 
Description:   Lucy... you've got some splainin' to do! Don't miss America's favorite red head doing some of the naughtiest things in this zany sex parody adventure!
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Reviewer: Tia Naye Date: 1/23/2010
Source: Aebn

If Lucille Ball knew there was a porn parody of her show, called "Everybody Loves Lucy," starring a woman who's done the depraved (and for our purposes, delightful) things that Audrey Hollander does, she might spin in her grave. For all we know Lucy may have been a firecracker in her own right, but there aren't many women as sexually hardcore as Audrey Hollander. Still, she's probably porn's most famous redhead and what other woman could fill those shoes? After all, parody should be over-the-top. Director Jerome Tanner, whose comic sensibilities helped make "Who's Nailin' Paylin" great, brings the same level of hilarity to these proceedings while never forgetting the primary reason we're watching.

Lucy awakes and discovers a new "Cum Here" tattoo on her abdomen just before Ricky (Otto Bauer, Audrey's real-life husband) walks in the room. He's suspicious of her jumpiness, but he has to leave for his English lesson. Once again, he turns down Lucy's request to come to the club that night. As he's on the way out, he meets Ethel (Chennin Blanc), who wants to see what became of Lucy last night after she disappeared during their girls' night out. Ethel finds out about the tattoo and tries to comfort Lucy with a promise of yet another night out, until Fred (Frank Bukkwyd) barges in, only having heard part of the conversation, and says girls who get tattoos are tramps. Cue Lucy's trademark "waa!" as Ethel and Fred leave. Fred will be the grump who gets none throughout the film.

No one turned up for class besides Ricky and the teacher (Ricki White). Wasting no time, she unties her halter top and lets Ricky play with her beautiful tits before she kneels to suck "that Cuban dick." Ricky pulls off her tight satin pants and eats her out on top of the desk before sliding el Cubanito into her slit. If you had doubts that sex in black and white could be hot, this should dispel them. The teacher bounces gorgeously in reverse cowgirl while Ricky encourages her, occasionally practicing English by encouraging and directing her. Things get hottest of all when she grabs his tie and pulls him closer as he's thrusting into her from behind in standing sidesaddle, giving us an excellent view of her body and showing a bit of tiger lurking inside. Soon he cums on her pretty mouth and she sucks his cockhead clean.

Meanwhile, Lucy is in a restaurant when the waitress spills coffee and something triggers the memory of how she got that tattoo. After stumbling into the alley last night thinking it was the bathroom, Lucy was abducted by aliens (John Strong and Jay Lassiter) who implanted a chemical to reduce her sexual inhibitions, leaving the tattoo as a mark. The chemical works, because a moment later Lucy's taking one cock in her mouth while the other alien samples her snatch and fingers her. Then, in this order, she gets fingercuffed, sucks both cocks, gets double-pussy-penetrated, gets double penetrated in both holes, gets a DPP again, and then does double anal before revisiting previous positions. Lucy looks fantastic, her pearls and hairdo a contrast to the pleasurable, consensual violation of her body. When the aliens pop on her face, Audrey's big-eyed Lucy impression is spot on and should give "I Love Lucy" fans a stir. After the flashback, Lucy is shocked to discover that her waitress (Dylan Ryder) has the same tattoo and the alien chemical makes her vulnerable to Dylan's girl-on-girl advances. It's a short, sweet interlude with some use of dildos that definitely don't belong to the '50s, but only sticklers for detail will mind.

Ricky is so excited about the 4' drums that he got for the show that night that not even a come-on from showgirl Kylie Reese is enough to tear Ricky's mind off those drums, so she drags Lee Stone into the dressing room instead and has her way with him, never taking off that feathered headdress. That night, Lucy and Ethel are stowaways in the box that's supposed to house the drums.

Not missing a beat, Ricky announces the girls as the evening's entertainment and we find out why he never let Lucy come to the club: it's a sex club! Ethel is all for it and Lucy, after all, is under chemical influence. They put on a threeway for the audience. First the girls share cock-sucking duties, which is a great way to start the show. Then Ricky licks both of their pussies while the girls make out and fucks them one after another, with both girls happily taking turns having their pussies or mouths filled – and, in Lucy's case, her ass. At one stage Lucy puts the maracas to a use for which they were never intended, but hey, that's entertainment! The girls are excited to be "showgirls" and hope to be invited back. After a performance like this, it's a safe bet they will be.

The costumes and makeup are pretty realistic and Audrey makes a fantastic Lucy. If you like the sitcums that Hustler has made popular again but have been waiting for one that really brings the hardcore action along with the laughs, then "Everybody Loves Lucy" is for you. There's even a version in color if you want to see that crazy redhead's scarlet curls.

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5 Scenes from Everybody Loves Lucy


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