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TITLE: The Accidental Starlet
STARRING: Gina Lynn, Kiki D’Aire, Samantha Sterlyng, Kaylynn, Nikita Denise, Gwenn Summers, Van Damage, Mark Wood, and Travis Knight.
CREDITS: Directed by Jim Gunn
In what should have been an intriguing start for a porn movie, Jim Gunn spoiled the possibilities and opted on treading the worn path of Mediocre-Ville instead. “The Accidental Starlet” is a so-so porn vehicle that loses its story and punch halfway through the movie. Raw footage is apparently stringed together and edited with some background audio intact which only made things shoddy. In the first scene, the director and his porn crew await a tardy porn actress. Thinking she’d play hooky, the director requests a replacement. Instead of moving the story forward, we are given our first diversion: Kiki D’Aire and her stocky partner, Van Damage. Not wanting to waste any more production time, the director calls on them to start doing the deed. Without missing a beat, Kiki goes down on her knees and puffs on Van Damage’s tubing, while he plays “hide your fingers” on her pussy. At first we don’t see Kiki’s goods because Van Damage’s paws are so big that they actually cover her privates. More blowjob excitement continues when the guy changes position standing up with Kiki now on all fours. Her nice derriere gets jiggled after her deep throat blessedly gives us a peek of her snatch. There’s a sudden cut, then we see Kiki enjoying a doggy style. After which, we see reverse cowgirl and missionary. Funny that we hear the natural sounds of their copulating because it sounds as if Van Damage’s dong works like a sandpaper in Kiki’s not-too-lubricated cunt. Kiki, on the other hand, moans like she’s shitting bricks! Sexy to some, but grating to most. In the end, Van Damage splooges his gravy on mouth.
Cut to a cute, curly, blonde Gina Lynn walking towards the makeshift studio with a box of supplies. As soon as she goes inside, the director shepherds her to the makeup room where Italian beauty Kaylynn awaits. The director orders Kaylynn – apparently the makeup artist in this movie – to prep the girl for their next scene. A confused Gina Lynn props down into the makeup chair and tries to protest. It didn’t take a few more seconds before Kaylynn and Gina Lynn realize the mix up. But they prefer to do nothing, simply because Kaylynn now performs her dual role as the production fluffer. In what seems to be the only highlight in this movie, the g/g action here is wonderfully choreographed and elicits many “oohs” and “ahhs” from the audience. Before a few jabs at soul kissing, the makeup artist then starts undressing Gina Lynn, while suckling those large, perky bosoms. Then Kaylynn dives her hands into the blonde’s crotch and works her tongue into the butt cheeks. A great ass deserves a great rimming as Kaylynn blew the blonde’s rosebud. Kaylynn surely knows how to pleasure girls as her mouth finally gets into to contact with Gina Lynn’s rearside mound and eats her, creating more cock-raising moans. When Gina Lynn finally spreads her legs, the festivities get a notch hotter. See Gina Lynn get her front muff get munched. See Gina Lynn undress Kaylynn (who unfortunately have a pair of small bumps for breasts). See Gina Lynn gets her toes nibbled by Kaylynn. See Gina eat Kaylynn’s large pussy. If that’s already too much for the faint hearted, see Gina sit on Kaylynn’s face after they dry hump each other’s snatch till they come! Whew!
The next scene is actually just Samantha Sterling and Mark Wood getting it on during actual filming. And while all this horniness takes place, we have intervening scenes of Gina Lynn standing outside the window, playing the hidden voyeur, fondling herself while the two performers battle it out on camera. I have a special note on Samantha Sterling. While she can be a nice looking girl (but not as hot as Gina Lynn and Kaylynn), she actually carried a whole conversation by herself through the whole scene while being fucked. Agreeing to herself, while moaning, she starts to get amusing when she repeats what she says over and over again. While we see more of Gina Lynn’s silicone boobs and twat, Samantha and Mark perform cabbage eating, missionary, and a cowgirl, which culminated in a cumbersome breast spray. Nothing much happens here but maybe getting Gina Lynn horned up.
During this time in the movie, I was half-expecting a threesome to take place. And lo and behold, I am rewarded with a 3way with hot Latin firecracker Nikita Denise, luscious redhead Gwen Summers and hunky blonde Mark Wood. Again, this is supposed to be a scene from the movie within the movie. By this time, I think the director no longer needed to maintain an illusion of a plot and completely disregarded what had previously happened. What’s more, Nikita and Gwen seem to be a hot couple. They adore each other. You instinctively notice that especially when Mark Wood is reduced to being the guy with the prop dick. Replacing him with a dildo would have been humane because other than his beef bayonet, he’s humiliatingly expendable. The best bit from this vignette is the daisy chain of oral sex. Gwen laps Nikita’s breadbasket, Nikita cleans the prop guy’s tool. They then break off to form another permutation. The two girls then turn their attention to Mark because they realized they needed his prop. Nikita works the shaft and Gwen snorts in the balls. Expect a lot more oral pleasures, cowgirl anal, more g/g interludes before Mark shoots his load on their faces.
And finally, in a half-assed attempt to validate the already flimsy story of this movie, we finally see Gina Lynn getting star treatment. She shares top draw with Eminem-lookalike Travis Knight. Somehow they have some chemistry, the way people do on a drunken one night stand. Travis paws his boobs while she gropes for his love muscle. Before we can say “foreplay”, Gina Lynn is already half-naked. Gina Lynn then spreads her creamy legs to receive a mouthful of love from Travis, after which, he finger fucks her. Gina Lynn gets it on with a hot blowjob number and considering that Travis’ unit is of considerable girth, Gina Lynn’s oral session is the stuff for legends. Now unencumbered by their clothes, these two horny-birds execute a spine tingling missionary anal, cowgirl reverse anal, doggy style, and squat doggy style. Travis shoots his cum like it’s toothpaste but Gina Lynn likes ‘em coddled. With no element to tie things up, we are suddenly ushered to the scrolling credits and for me, a disapproving glare.