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Neighbors

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Running Time:   71 minutes
Released:  
Studio Name:   Wicked Pictures 
Director:   Michael Raven 
Categories: Feature  
Description:   Welcome to the Neighborhood! This romantic comedy focuses on Miranda a broken-hearted beauty who can’t seem to start dating again. She lives with her crazy stepbrother and is surrounded by some pretty strange neighbors, which doesn’t help her situation. Luckily for Miranda, handsome musician Jake just moved into the neighborhood! Although she’s reluctant, she can’t help her growing feelings for Jake. Miranda’s ex-boyfriend shows up on her birthday trying ...More
Description:   Welcome to the Neighborhood! This romantic comedy focuses on Miranda a broken-hearted beauty who can’t seem to start dating again. She lives with her crazy stepbrother and is surrounded by some pretty strange neighbors, which doesn’t help her situation. Luckily for Miranda, handsome musician Jake just moved into the neighborhood! Although she’s reluctant, she can’t help her growing feelings for Jake. Miranda’s ex-boyfriend shows up on her birthday trying to win her back but only after she’s started to fall for Jake. Will Miranda go back the one who broke her heart or will she let he feelings for Jake be known? ...Less
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Reviewer: Explodingvulva Date: 9/12/2005
Source: Aebn

TITLE: “Neighbors”

STARRING:

Stormy Daniels, Roxanne Hall, Nicole Sheridan, Exotica, Destiny St. Claire,

Barrett Blade, Evan Stone, Eric Masterson, Mark Wood, and Voodoo.

CREDITS: Directed by Michael Raven

MEMORABLE LINE:

“The guy cooked you dinner. In some countries, that’s considered marriage,

y’know.” Roxanne Hall

REVIEW:

A porn movie that’s bereft of sex is a curious oddity. When performers do more talking than fucking, others might consider “Neighbors” positively refreshing. I, on the other hand, find it a complete waste of time. If I ever needed to watch something like this, I would have gone to see a chick flick on DVD or just watch “Desperate Housewives” on television. Stormy Daniels, one whose ego has led her to believe that she can make porn that’s not porn, seemed to be misguided on what she can really do in this movie. She stars, writes and co-produces this rather shameless romantic comedy porn. Is she trying to get hold of a mainstream Hollywood career? I wonder what juju she cooked up to get Wicked to green light this movie. Let me tell you now that if you’re looking for the same old comfortable kind of porn, “Neighbors” won’t be your of cum.

Stormy Daniels is Miranda, an ad exec that just can’t get over her boyfriend’ s dumping her. While everyone in her neighborhood, including her eternally naked buffoon of a stepbrother, Rodney (Evan Stone), is getting some action, Miranda is just there looking outraged! Her best friend Gina (a tasty Roxanne Hall) fixes her up with a guy but soon blows him off. Miranda also is fending off the advances of a Billy Idol construct in the form of Barrett Blade’s Jake. Miranda is attracted to him but she couldn’t help but think about his boyfriend. What happens next are the same clichéd series of events that we’ve seen on TV and film. If it were not for the great sex scenes -- which are annoyingly sparse, quick and far in between -- I never would have bothered watching this movie.

Before I go to any specifics with the sex, let me just say that everyone is a ham in this movie. Stormy Daniels should go back doing what she knows best: being a fuck artist. Also, co-star Nicole Sheridan impresses me to be like Jenny McCarthy, before acting school. There are practically five sex scenes in this movie. Three of them are too short that they aren’t really worth mentioning (but to be fair, all were steaming including the g/g with Nicole and Exotica). The two scenes in question are the ones with Rodney and Destiny St. Claire, and the final toss-up between Miranda and Jake.

The first sex scene is a doozy. Stone is in the living room wearing diving goggles, frog shoes and snorkels, with nothing else. What’s also weird is his partner, Destiny St. Claire’s, propensity to stick her tongue out when she’s having sex. We have the usual succession of foreplay: blow job, clubbing, breast mashing with dick. Then sparks fly when these two lovebirds perform a cowgirl reverse, spooning and spread eagle mish. It all boils down to a hot living room tussle with a slightly silly bent.

The finale sex scene where Daniels and Blade finally consummate their lust for one another is sizzling and uncommonly electric. They grope. They undress. They finally start porn. But it’s still awfully short and not as thorough as I wanted to. Blade gets Daniels in rear side action. He invades her rear end like Kublai Khan about to invade the rest of China! There is a nice ferocity here that I would have liked to see in previous scenes. It’s as if these two saved the best for last. The mish comes soon after as he lays her on the counter. But before any more action occurs, Blade shoots his load on her stomach! The cum shot is almost unceremonious. You’ll definitely be wanting more.

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